I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
