Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
