I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
