wat bout pragnant strippers??
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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