i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
