More tranny stories later!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize