Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
