I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize