this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
