i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
