Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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