she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
