I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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