I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
