i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
