Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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