We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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