So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
