I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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