when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
