Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Mom said you looked used
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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