Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
