She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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