And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
