we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
