so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
