i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
