I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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