Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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