you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
