What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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