Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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