yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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