she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
