I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
