Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize