Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
