I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
