You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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