So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
