Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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