I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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