I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize