how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize