i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
