We won't sleep together?
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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