who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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