My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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