oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
