so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
