if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
