i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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