i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
