woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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