it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
