I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
