Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
how does that bad decision feel?
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