definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Farmville is her only friend.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
