brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
