Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
