i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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